funny thing is, when i need the support most, its not there.
when something good happens in your life, something bad happens to overshadow it.
so you dont realise how good the good thing in your life is, until you lose it because uve spent so much time thinking about the bad.
Im struggling, i geuss you could say like most teenage kids these days. As i swear 99% of the kids these days claim there depressed. Im not. im really not. i love my life. Just hate certain people in it, hate the way certain people act, i hate school, because of the stress and the pressure from parents, who say dont be so stressed? ironically if i wasnt stressed and putting like 150% effort in, you would be getting angry at me for not being concerned enough for my education, wow so contradictory.
It seems like adults like to contradict the younger generation. Like at school, you get the talk of how you have all this responsibility blah blah, you are now the leaders of the school. then in the next minute they are telling us how we know nothing, they are in charge, we dont have an opinion, we are just children. Oh okay. well that makes sense.
I wanna get away, i need to get away. Fly away.
i miss you. i need you in my life.
im struggling between doing the right thing
and my feelings for you.
i never should of gotten into this mess in the first place.
i wonder how things would of been.
i would do anything for you.
i hope you understand that.
i wish i could say this this to your face.
i wish you would see me face to face.
i wish i was brave.
i dont know what to do anymore.
dont know which way to turn, who to turn to.
im lost. lost in my own world. unable to find the happiness i truly know there is, or desire.
its at this moment.
the moment.
where you feel emptiness.
like youve kept digging, digging further,
this little bit of hope left there that,
maybe you might end up somewhere.
Maybe somewhere better, brighter.
The darkness surrounds you, and
you cannot see anything. No light.
It clouds your vision, twists ur sense of direction.
but you keep going down. It gets deeper, darker, damper.
Then clunk. “Youve hit rock bottom”
Literally. there is no way back. no reset button.
Your hope is dashed. Your senses succumb to the bottom of the pit.
Your motionless. You feel your dispair, your emptiness creeps in.
Then the tears. You hold yourself tight.
As if this might bring back some type of physical reality back to you.
Noone is there to help. Noone can help you.
You cant escape what youve done. As much as you try, scream, cry.
There is no way back from this pit. The pit in your stomach, your heart.
The empty pit. The nothing.
this moment.
is the breaking point.
Your demise.
